Before Bloomsbury Children Books published Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, the first Harry Potter book, a dozen publishers had already rejected it. They said the title was long, book was long, story was dark and it was not a traditional children book. The failures made the author J. K. Rowling utterly disappointed; however, she did not give up. She failed many times, but she kept on trying.
If you think it is not okay to fail, you will never succeed. To become a successful man/woman in life, you have to accept failure, and have firm belief in “it is okay to fail.”
The Truth about Success and Failure
The world we live in is intrinsically of dual nature. There will be light as long as there is darkness, heat will exist as long as coldness exist, hatred is there because its opposing force love is there. Light-dark, heat-cold and love-hate are two faces of coins. What is happiness – the state of not being in pain. What is pleasure – the state of not being in suffering.
What do you get from this deliberation? That there will be success only if there is failure, and it is okay to fail because without failing, you will never understand the value of success.
Here is an old story you may have read, but here is a reminder.
Once English King Arthur lost his kingdom in war and ran for his life. He took a refuge in a hut. He stared at the wall and tried to focus his thought. Suddenly Arthur spotted a spider trying to climb the wall. Just on the half way, spider lost its control and fell down. After a while, the spider began to climb the wall again, and it fell again when it was on the half way. The spider failed multiple times but did not give up. Lo and behold! The spider finally climbed the wall. It was okay for the spider to fail, because it was ready to try again. King Arthur learned a lesson that it was okay to fail. He gathered his army and went to fight.
Success is not Lack of Failure
Success and failure are of course opposite reality; however, if you define success as lack of failure, you are morally corrupting your mind. It is okay to eye for success and try to avoid failure, nevertheless, you have to remember there is a space between success and failure. The space in between the two extreme points is little above failure and slightly below success. This is the place where you don’t have to handle any criticism or pressure of success and failure. Some may call this mediocrity and dislike this state, however, it is also true that it is a safe place.
Of course, there are people who become phenomenally successful on the first attempt. The real question is can they repeat their success again? Perhaps, they did right thing at the right moment, which could be just a coincidence. This does not happen with many people. For most of the people, failure and success just roll on. If they don’t fail, they don’t have any chances of success.
Failure and Self-Help Books
It is okay to fail. However, if you are failing or have failed in your life, don’t take refuge is self-help books and begin to repeat positive statements. Couple of years ago, the researchers from the University of Waterloo and the University of Brunswick in Canada found that looking into self-help books and repeating positive statements do not actually boosts your spirits. Sometimes they even have adverse effect. If you actually do not believe you will succeed, how do you think you will succeed by simply repeating I will succeed? Men and women take a cue from real evidence to base their opinions. Self-help is multi billion dollars global industry. Do not fall into their intrigues. What you have to have is high self-esteem, accept failure and try to do better next time.
Failure is Normal
According to the results of three experiments conducted by French researchers, “telling children that it is okay to fail at school can actually help them do better academically.” The experiments were conducted by Frederique Autin and Jean-Claude Croizet of the University of Poitiers and the National Center for Scientific Research in Poitiers, France. The American Psychological Association published the report of this experiment in the Journal of Experimental Psychology.
Today everyone is obsessed with success, and people are afraid of failure. Fear of failure is making people hesitant to try new things. However, the truth is failure is an important part of learning. Only failure can teach you how to succeed, and give you courage to try daring feat. Without failing, you will never learn the art of innovation.
Reasons Why it is Okay to Fail
You may be punished for your failure, however, if you worry about the punishment you will never try new things. If you don’t try, you will not learn. How do you think you can succeed without learning new things?
Many people simply avoid taking risks because they are afraid of failure. However, failure is also a learning process. Failure will teach you the value of success and how it can be achieved.
When you fail, you will learn how cope with difficulties and move on. Your failure will teach you to invent another way to succeed.
Failure is the mother of innovations. Think about all those scientists who failed hundreds of times and finally invented the machine we have today. Invention did not occur in a first attempt, the person behind the invention had failed many times.
Failure and success are two faces of a coin. You want to succeed; however, you must accept that failure is also a part of your life. Success does not mean avoiding failure. Success does not imply absence of failure.
When you fail, look back and try to find out what you overlooked, what you missed. If you can analyze your failure, you will learn how to avoid the mistakes when you are doing it next time.
Most of the people believe that if they fail, they become an inadequate person, a not so smart person, a not good enough person. When they are stuck with this belief, they stop taking risks in life, they stop doing new things, and slowly they become a failure. The only way to avoid failure is to have a firm belief in “it is okay to fail” and keep on trying.
When you fail to do something, what do you do?
- I try to do it in better way next time.
- I avoid doing it and look for other things.
If you fail, how long does it take to recover?
- In few days
- In a week
- In a month
- In six months
I never recover